There is this song I love by Bruce Parham called Call on Jesus, that has this particular verse that says; “It can be a very desperate time in your life, they don’t have time for you”…
Well, who are they? Of course, they are the Tyrones, in which Erykah issued an edict for men to contact and by contrast females always rely on one another for solace. But what happens when we get the voicemail or the person is on the phone but they are detached because let’s face it people have their own ish to deal with, or the advice they give is not applicable. Well in the words of the Psalmist, I am to look to the hills for that is where my help comes from. But what happens when I’ve been looking for quite some time and now beginning to doubt my faith and becoming weary in my well doing and this hope deferred is making my heart sick, and I’m not quite feeling like trusting Him though He slays me!
I learned that…
I must remember that this is not the first time I’ve been in a situation like this. I’ve been victorious before and I have to settle for the fact that if I’m not the victor this time it’s His Will (I struggle with this, I do…because my will would not have had me in this mess, but moving on) I must remember that every time my faith is on trial the accuser intensifies his attack, however God is always in control. So there’s no need to call Tyrone or Tyneisha, I need only call on Jesus.
I found my faith in God wavering because he specifically told me to enter into something that currently seems detrimental to me. I was hurt and angry because I petitioned God for direction and I heard him audibly give me instructions on what to do. Now I am in a predicament where I am uncomfortable, uncertain, and unhappy. However, once I stopped focusing on how I felt, God revealed to me that in these types of circumstances He does His best work. Now I’m not going to lie to you, I didn’t all of a sudden straighten up and say my Daddy is in full control. I surely did not. Hourly, I struggle with my condition simply because I do not understand the “why”. God is sovereign, thus the only “why” we may be privy to while in the storm is that it is His Will. Flesh doesn’t like that answer, but that’s the only answer I’ve gotten, I pray you get something better. Although I wasn’t comforted by receiving a “struggle roadmap”, I did find these two resources comforting, maybe you will too.
This resource came from the Discovery Series offered by Our Daily Bread you can follow the link below (May 16, Reference Psalms 77)
Casting Your Cares on Him
And the video below is a manifestation of my brokenness, the young man put my pain into words, he said everything I am feeling, but it ended how it should…
Regardless of your beliefs, we all get to a point when we feel emptiness, a cavernous void that we feverishly attempt to fill with work, activities, prayer, meditation, sex, drugs, alcohol, anything…but at night when everything is still who do you call?
Do they answer?
I’m not perfect if you’re looking for that look elsewhere. I throw fits, I curse, I get upset, other days I’m silent the entire day. I’m processing the changes in my life the best way I know how and realizing this one thing, people don’t have the answers you’re looking for.