Train Confessions: Tainted

And my heart burns only for you

You are all I want
And my soul waits only for you
And I will sing till the morning has come….

Even When It Hurts, Hillsong United 

If you’ve read one or two of my entries it should be clear I love melody, music and prose. What else should be apparent is my love for my Father. Now I love R_dot with everything I have, but I am not talking about him in this one.

As I lit up the highway, I couldn’t help thinking back over this year, this month, the past 24 hours 🙄…

What stood out to me were two starkly different things: 

  1. How tainted I am….AND
  2. How much He seemingly loves me anyway.  

He’s anticipated, studied, and witnessed every ugly thought or act and still sees fit to love me with the same intensity.  

Why the struggle then?

Sometimes it just hurts like hell.  

There it is, I don’t have anything else for you!  I am flawed but simply unashamed to be transparent about it.  I guess that’s why I can be trusted.

This is what I do know:

  1. Life is not easy (dying is)
  2. Decisions will appear to become increasingly difficult the more GOOD ones you make 
  3. People you trust may seemingly become MORE flaky (sometimes overnight)
  4. You’re not bored, He’s changing what you desire to do with your time stop fighting it 
  5. Peace is not the same as calm (trust me on this one)
  6. In all things give thanks (ALL THINGS!)
  7. Let it GO (Disney was on to something)
  8. Faith is a daily decision (I pray that yours not fail)
  9. Be obedient (to God)
  10. Forgive, Forgive, Forgive…you’re not perfect and neither are they…


~She 💋

Click below for the full song 

Even When it Hurts


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